Crybaby

As these tears race down my cheeks, I'm trying to figure out why it is that I am crying, why I feel such sadness after watching such an inspiring video. Most people have watched the Ron Clarke students and have been entertained and amused. I am convicted and hopeful. Watching a group of students that I wish I had the opportunity to impact is weird. It feels like I got a brief glimpse at the joy and fulfillment that I could have experienced had I been accepted into TFA. While I am thankful that Jesus knows what is best for me, I still feel like I missed out on something. I feel like these students could have inspired me. I feel like I would want to teach these students, to invest in relationships with them, to love them, to convince them that they can and will change the world. I feel like I'd want to wake up in the morning to work.

I wish I could more eloquently express the weight of my heart. Seeing those students has set off a spark in my soul. I felt like my passion for education was merely smoldering, and now, I have a desire to fan that flame into an intense craving. I want to be the change I wish to see. The problem is that it is so much harder to correct an adult than it is to mold a child. As much as a love conversing and counseling young adults, I realize that my passion for teaching children still remains, and that is good. I know that I will not venture into that as a career path in the near future, but it is a talent and a passion that I can practice during this time. God, please show me the innocence in my students. Please help me to trust you, and believe that YOU alone are the potter.